Photo: From "King of Sting" Craig's mom-in-law, 1st wife Connie and the man himself.
TKC NOTE: Tonight, Craig Glazer shares some sage wisdom regarding relationship and love over the long term. Take a look:
Relationships DO Work...for a little while
?And I, don't like a thing about your mother,
And I, I hate your daddys guts too bu hu
And I, don't like a thing about your sister, no, no
Cause I, I, I, think sex is overrated too.
And I, get sick when I'm around, I, can't stand to be around,
I, hate everything about you!? ? ?I Hate Everything About You? ? Ugly Kid Joe
So they say relationships between men and women don?t work. Marriage is yesterday?s news. The worst thing about marriage; how it ends: a divorce, a battle over children, who gets what and how much. Yes, it gets pretty ugly. Then there?s guys like me, maybe too few and maybe not what we?re taught to believe in. The man who has many meaningful relationships over a long period of time in his life. No, it?s not the way the movie ends with the hero and heroine riding off into the sunset.
Like most of you, I believed as a very young man I would find my soul mate, get married, have a couple of great kids and grow old with my wife enjoying seeing our children graduate college, get married and have kids of their own. For me, that option was killed off pretty early in my time of dating and relationships. Now that I?ve outrun the coverage I can report that several decades of dating, living with and being in love with a handful of ladies isn?t a bad way to go. Notice I said being in love with a handful of ladies. I liked and dated hundreds of women over the years. Most, if not all, of these women were attractive, great fun and wonderful in bed but that?s where it ended. For leading this type of life you get tagged at best as a playboy, or at worst as a womanizer. I don?t think either title is correct. Some people are just not cut out for a life-long partnership starting at twenty something and moving on to seventy something or even longer. As we now approach sixty percent of marriages ending in divorce, I think we have solid evidence that I am correct.
Now, let?s talk about that other forty percent. These are mostly couples who have children, mortgages and believe in sticking with what they started; in this case, getting married. With rare exception most of this forty percent lives a long, quiet boring life of quiet desperation. Why?
When a couple meets, it?s exciting. Sex is often a nightly thing, particularly when you are a teenager or in your twenties. Then, reality sets in. She puts on a few pounds. He farts and snores too much. He never noticed that big group of pimples she gets on her but from time to time. If it goes long enough, his hair starts to thin out and her boobs start to drop?along with everything else. Yep, that?s just the beginning. You have a couple kids, where?s that baby sitter when you need one? What do you mean we need new kitchen appliances? The problems are endless. Having the perfect family is exceedingly rare?if it even exists in the first place.
What about the ?beautiful people?, the rich and the famous? They have too many options and generally, their relationships are even briefer.
However, love and relationships are some of the greatest highs and lows of life itself. Like most of you, I have had powerful feelings for girls when I was young. There was that 14 year old lifeguard with blonde hair and blue eyes at the Georgetown Apartments when I was in 9th grade; her name was Mary and she was from Lincoln, Nebraska. I fought so hard to win her over. Our junior year in high school she went to Italy as an exchange student, lost her virginity to some Italian guy and soon after, what I thought would be my lifelong love affair was over. Then there was my college love affair with then Miss Arizona Karen. I was 19 and she had just turned 17; we were talking marriage and I even introduced her to my parents. I soon became a notorious outlaw while still attending ASU; while Karen got a job as a hostess at the hottest restaurant in town, ?Bobby McGee?s?. She got married the next year, but not to me?but to the 42 year old owner of the restaurant chain.
Next came one of the two loves of my life; a Stanford?s waitress named Terri Gatewood. I was 27, she was 24. My love for her was off the chart. Terri was beautiful, sweet as sugar and couldn?t be kinder and I even accepted her infant daughter as my own when we got engaged in 1981. Terri even believed in my Hollywood career and moved to Los Angeles with me. My days with her were the happiest of any relationship I ever had. We were one of those young, hot Hollywood couples that everyone admired. With me, she met everyone from Warren Beatty to many of the soon-to-be-stars of my acting class. Yup, her photo is in my book, ?The King of Sting?? where she is seated between Warren Beatty and Orson Welles. My movie career stalled, we lived the high life so money got tight. Terri took a job as a hostess at MGM Studios where she would go on to become a senior VP of Marketing, making a nice six figure income. I got bored, we broke up, I started dating a Playmate type, pulled off the sting that got me busted, funny, at my sentencing, Terri reappeared. She couldn?t stop crying as they led me out of the courtroom with handcuffs and leg shackles on. I think Terri was more upset than my parents or my fianc?e at the time, Maria?she was busy posing for the cameras. By the time I got out of prison, Terri was already married to a film producer at MGM. Other than my former wife, Connie, she would be the only big time relationship that ended when it ended and I would never see her again.
I met Connie in my late forties at Stanford?s. She was the same kind of girl that Terri was, and though she was only 22 years old, we had a great couple of years before we got married in the early 2000?s. As with all my relationships, it, too, died off after a few years of marriage, we wound up divorced in 2008. All that?s left is a few photos of her and Tommy Chong in my book.
One can say, ?Wow, how sad, it sounds like much of it was your own fault.? I agree. However, what I have come to realize is this: relationships do work?they just don?t last. You have to enjoy the ride. I?ve been blessed, I had several major loves in my life. They are gone now, but my memories of them sustain me and will all the days of my life.
I?ve used myself as an example. I think to sum it up, you add up all the people you?ve ever loved in your life and it?s really just different aspects of the same person rolled up together?as are you to them.
"Remember that when you look long and hard into the abyss, the abyss also looks long and hard into you."-Frederick Nietzsche